The man's role in managing home tensions

Cohabitation and parenthood are sometimes associated with stressful days and moments with a sense of exhaustion, times when the accumulation of fatigue can reduce a woman's resilience and create tension. In such situations, the man's way of facing and measured behavior as the support of the house determines the way to return to peace and maintain the psychological security of the family members.

Cohabitation and parenthood are sometimes associated with stressful days and moments with a sense of exhaustion, times when the accumulation of fatigue can reduce a woman's resilience and create tension. In such situations, the man's way of facing and measured behavior as the support of the house determines the way to return to peace and maintain the psychological security of the family members.

According to Ambassador Arjan, the sudden anger of the mothers and their "going out of the oven" is not due to cruelty; Sometimes their psychological battery reaches 1% and according to the polyvagal theory, when the pressure on the person increases, the logical brain completely shuts down, as a result, this scream is not from anger, but the sound of cutting is from fatigue.

In those few critical seconds, the father should know that when the situation is inflamed, as a father, he is neither a judge nor an angel of salvation, but only a shelter, because his behavior in those few seconds will determine whether the house will calm down or burn down.

The first and most important reaction is not to get emotional and do not argue with your spouse in front of the child. Research from the Guttman Institute says that calming down the father is the fastest way to bring security back to the home, so without further advice or words, just pick up the child and make the space quiet.

The three-step formula to contain this storm is to first take the child away and say, "Let's go get some water together," secondly, give your wife oxygen and let her be alone for a few minutes to calm her nerves, and thirdly, put her mind at ease and say, "It's me, go take a breath." According to the research of the University of Leuven, these small supports prevent the collapse of a woman.

There's a big red line and that's don't screw up your teammate's kid. Even if the kid is right, never question your spouse in front of the kid. Guttman says that destroying the parents in front of the child destroys his sense of security, so be patient until the two of you have a rational conversation later.

After all, it's time to calm down, not to say, "I told you so!" When the storm sleeps, don't watch. Be by his side and say "I know you are tired of being alone, I understand you, let's share it together."