When the child asks "Where is God?"; How should parents respond?

From the reason of prayer and prayer to death, suffering and justice; Children's questions sometimes confront adults with questions that are not easy to answer. But what is important in religious education is not only finding the right answer; Rather, it is a way of dealing with the child's curiosity. Experts believe that if questioning is met with blame and commanding answers, the child may gradually replace silence with dialogue.

According to the Missionary Thought and Culture Base, children's religious questions are not always a sign of doubt or opposition to the family's beliefs; Sometimes they just want to know the world better and find meaning in their experiences. However, the reaction of parents can change the course of this curiosity.

"If God knows everything, why should we pray?", "Why do good people die?" and "If God is so kind, why do some children get sick?" Questions that parents sometimes find difficult to answer can be an opportunity to form a deeper dialogue with their children. Educational and religious experts believe that religious education is not formed only by transmitting teachings and repeating recommendations; Rather, the way parents deal with children's questions, honesty in answering and providing a safe space for expressing ambiguities, plays an essential role in forming religious beliefs and strengthening trust between the child and the family.

Children's questions about God, death, justice, suffering and why worship are sometimes raised in the simplest family conversations; Just when adults don't expect to hear such questions. In these situations, some parents provide a short explanation, some attribute the child's question to his young age, and some end the conversation with sentences like "because the elders said."

But the end of the conversation does not necessarily mean that the child's ambiguity is resolved. Maybe the question that remains unanswered will continue to occupy his mind and in the future, instead of being raised in the family environment, he will follow other paths.

The importance of this issue is not limited to finding the right answer to a religious question. Parents' reaction can convey other messages to the child; From whether it's acceptable to ask about beliefs to whether it's okay not to know and whether it's possible to still have a safe and intimate relationship with your parents if you have doubts or ambiguities.

A child who questions God is not necessarily distancing himself from the family's beliefs. Also, the question about death is not always a sign of conflict with a philosophical issue; Sometimes the fear of losing parents, experiencing loss or worrying about the future is behind this question. The question about justice may also start from a simple dispute between siblings and reach the child's attempt to understand the difference in human life conditions.

From this point of view, religious education is beyond the transmission of a set of answers and instructions. The main issue is how parents can talk with their children about concepts that are sometimes complicated for adults themselves; Without the questioning of the child becoming a sign of disobedience or a threat to the authority of the family.

questioning; Part of the path of religious knowledge and belief

According to IKNA, Hossein Faraji Chahardangeh, an expert in educational affairs, emphasized the importance of paying attention to the meaning of children's questions and stated in an interview: What the child expresses in the form of a question is not always his concern, and sometimes there is a difference between the apparent meaning of the question and the problem that concerns the child's mind.

He explained: For example, when a child asks about death, his main concern may not be knowing the concept of death, but losing his parents, being alone, or worrying about the future. In the same way, the question about God is not always just a belief, and the child may want to know the world around him and find a meaning for the events he experiences.

This educational affairs expert stated that answering children's questions effectively requires knowing the context of their formation. While sometimes more than receiving information, the child needs empathy, reassurance and an opportunity to express his concerns.

According to Faraji, it is better for parents to talk to the child about the cause of the question and find out what is on his mind before giving the answer.

Pointing to the consequences of hasty and inhibiting answers, he added: "You are still a child", "these issues have nothing to do with you" or "you will understand later" may force the child to remain silent in the short term, but it does not mean to remove his ambiguity. The question remains in the child's mind and he may refer to other sources to find the answer.

The way parents deal with their children's questions teaches them what issues they can raise in the family and what issues it is better to remain silent about. If the child's question is met with humiliation, blame or prohibition, he may gradually refrain from openly expressing his doubts and concerns.

The family should provide a space where the child can ask his questions without fear of the adults' reaction and have the opportunity to talk to understand the topics he wants.

Religious education is not just the transmission of teachings

Stating that religious education is not limited to transferring a set of concepts and behaviors, this educational expert said: There should be a difference between learning a religious proposition and understanding its meaning. A child who asks about the reason for prayer or other religious orders does not necessarily intend to disagree with parents and family values, but may seek to understand the connection between a religious behavior and its meaning.

He considered questioning to be a natural part of the process of cognition in childhood and added: the manner of facing questions also has an effect on the formation of a child's understanding. If a question about God or religious rules is considered inappropriate or forbidden from the beginning, instead of reaching a deeper understanding, the child may get used to repeating answers that he did not have the opportunity to examine and understand.

Faraji clarified: Conversation and providing explanations according to the child's level of understanding can provide a deeper and more lasting understanding of religious concepts.

Referring to Luqman's conversation with his son in the Holy Quran, he said: In this narration, issues such as monotheism, prayer, social responsibility, patience and ethics are raised in the form of a conversation with a child. This way of expression shows that education is not limited to giving orders and the type of relationship between the teacher and the child is also important in conveying concepts.

Referring to the expression "Ya Bunayyah" in Luqman's conversation with his son, this educational expert said: This expression can be seen as a sign of an emotional and sincere relationship that provides the basis for the development of important religious and moral concepts. In the education process, educational content and emotional relationship between parent and child are not separate from each other and the quality of this relationship affects the way of receiving and understanding educational messages.

Faraji emphasized that the authority of parents should not be confused with the suppression of children's questions, and stated: Parents can have specific frameworks and limitations for raising children and at the same time, allow them to ask questions about the reasons for these limitations. Hearing the child's question does not mean confirming all his impressions; In the same way, explaining a law does not mean abandoning the educational role of parents.

He considered honesty in answering as one of the other important components of education and added: Parents should not necessarily have an immediate and definitive answer to all difficult questions. Sometimes admitting that more study is needed to answer a question is a more constructive approach.

Saying a sentence like "I don't know, let's find out about it together" teaches the child that not knowing is normal and that you can try to find the answer through reading and talking.

Instead of trying to end the discussion quickly, parents can ask the child what prompted his question or what he thinks about the topic. This method helps parents to better understand their child's real concern and provide an answer that fits their needs and level of understanding. Creating a safe environment for questioning, in addition to helping to better understand religious concepts, also provides the basis for continuing dialogue and strengthening trust between the child and the family.

parental behavior; A criterion for understanding religious concepts

Hojjat-ul-Islam Seyyed Ali Mohammadnejad, an expert in religious sciences, emphasized the need to pay attention to children's questions and stated: listening to a child's question does not mean accepting all his wishes or confirming all his perceptions; Rather, parents can discuss their child's ambiguities while taking their child's questions seriously, and at the same time, maintain educational boundaries.

He added: sometimes, parents' concern about weakening their authority makes them consider the child's question as a form of opposition; Whereas a child who asks why he should pray or why some people live in a different way, may only be seeking to understand the connection between an order and its meaning.

This expert in religious sciences stated that some concepts seem obvious to adults, but the child still does not have a clear understanding of why and how they are, and clarified: parents should give their child the opportunity to raise their questions and ask for an explanation about the subject.

Mohammadnejad found command answers insufficient when dealing with children's questions and said: Answers such as "because I say so" or "because the elders said so" may lead to the child's silence at a young age, but with age, they lose their power of persuasion.

When a child enters adolescence, he faces more complex questions that cannot be answered solely by relying on the authority of his parents. If a space for dialogue is not provided from the beginning, the family may continue to face questions that have lost the opportunity to gradually examine them.

Referring to the multitude of sources of information for children, this religious science expert stated: Family is not their only source of information; Friends, school, media, social networks and virtual space can also create new questions or provide answers to the child that are different from what he has learned before.

In such a situation, it is not only about finding the right answer, but also the child's trust in the person providing the answer. If the child is able to raise his questions in the family environment, the field of investigation and joint search is provided; But if he is afraid of his parents' reaction, he may seek the answers he wants from other sources.

Providing a safe space for questioning is not only limited to the child's access to information, but also the quality of his relationship with his family and the level of trust he has in his parents.

Stating that the family can be an environment for discussion and examining questions, he said: This approach does not mean removing educational boundaries, nor does it mean that parents should have an immediate answer to every question. It is important for the child to know that raising doubts does not automatically put him in the opposite position of the family.

answers to difficult questions; Appropriate to the age and experience of the child

Mohammadnejad said about children's questions about God: questions like "Where is God?", "Why can't we see Him?", "What does God look like?" or "If God knows everything, why should we pray?" It may leave parents feeling like they have to give a full explanation right away; While answering correctly, first of all, you need to know the child's level of understanding.

He added: Questioning about God in different ages has different meaning and complexity. Therefore, the appropriate answer is neither to avoid the question nor to present complex concepts that are beyond the child's ability to understand; Rather, it should be proportionate to his age, experience and level of knowledge.

Emphasizing the role of simple language and concrete examples in teaching religious concepts, this religious science expert said: Children need examples close to their daily experiences to understand many subjects. An explanation that is appropriate for a young child may not be sufficient for a teenager; Therefore, answering should not be limited to repeating a few fixed sentences against different questions.

Mohammadnejad considered daily experiences as one of the effective factors in the formation of children's religious attitudes and stated: Religious education will be more lasting when the child can make a connection between religious concepts and his life. When talking about God, kindness, justice, responsibility or worship, the child should be able to see the manifestations of these concepts in the behavior of adults.