Our family's son-in-law came to propose to me after he divorced my sister!/ I feel good about him, but my family is not satisfied.
A few years ago, my sister married the man she loved. The family was against it, but I tried hard to manage the situation so that their lives would not be bitter. He got divorced after a year and my sister was to blame. Now our ex-son-in-law has come to propose to me. I feel good about him and I don't want to lose him, but my family is not satisfied. what should i do
A few years ago, my sister married the man she loved. The family was against it, but I tried hard to manage the situation so that their lives would not be bitter. He got divorced after a year and my sister was to blame. Now our ex-son-in-law has come to propose to me. I feel good about him and I don't want to lose him, but my family is not satisfied. what should i do
According to Ambassador Arjan's report, Khorasan newspaper wrote in response to this audience: This is a very complicated situation, full of conflicting emotions and extremely sensitive. On the one hand, you are involved in your emotional feelings and your heart's desire, and on the other hand, you are facing a heavy wall of traditions, family judgments, and social taboos. Let's dissect this issue from several angles:
1. Separation of emotions from "forbidden impulse". In psychology, sometimes we subconsciously feel more attracted to a relationship or situation because it is "forbidden". Ask yourself: is this attraction genuine love and true recognition, or is it a combination of previous acquaintance, a sense of rescue and pity, or an unconscious stubbornness with the family?
2. Emotional and psychological burden on your sister Even if he is to blame for his long marriage, this incident is an emotional blow for your sister, and it will mean "betrayal", "loss of safe base" and "sprinkling salt in the wound" for your sister. Even if your sister's relationship with him is over, this marriage is likely to leave her deeply isolated or angry.
3. Family reaction and its social cost In the culture and psychological structure of Iranian families, marrying your sister's ex-husband is associated with heavy taboos: labels and words and hadiths of people around you, breaking sanctity and creating a deep gap between you and your parents and sister. If there is even the slightest problem between you and this man in the future, he may not support your family.
4. Knowing this man (former son-in-law). A man who was in love with your sister three years ago, got married, divorced, and now has come back to his ex-sister, needs to be examined. Is he looking for a resemblance of your family? Is he looking for revenge or filling an emotional void quickly? Does he have enough emotional stability?
1. Pause and postpone the decision Do not make hasty decisions under emotional pressure.
2. A non-judgmental conversation with your sister (if possible). Of course, this is very risky, but if you have a close relationship with your sister, you should know how strong her reaction will be.
3. Individual counseling before any action I suggest that you talk to a clinical psychologist for a few sessions to determine how much this relationship is based on your real needs and how much it is a response to momentary deficiencies or emotions.
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