The Tesla Roadster is an incredible bird just for show

Last night, Elon Musk gave the crowd what they've been asking for: a car that climbs vertically up a multi-story ramp, launches off the edge, does a mid-air "kickflip" on a set of Teslas, and lands via cold gas thrusters. That's what people want, right? Sure, "we were promised flying cars," but is that a practical word in that […]

Last night, Elon Musk gave the crowd what they've been asking for: a car that climbs vertically up a multistory ramp, launches off the edge, does a mid-air "kickflip" on a set of Teslas, and lands via cold gas thrusters.

That's what people want, right? Sure, "we were promised flying cars," but isn't the key word in that phrase "we"? Because as far as I can tell, everything we saw last night—while very interesting and incredibly impressive—doesn't lead to an actual, production-ready car that you can park or, I guess, land in your driveway.

Tesla's late night rally in Waco, Texas certainly gave some corners of the internet what it wanted. And it was hard to avoid the praise and wide-eyed backlash on X, a platform already prone to absolve Musk of all his sins.

This demo was intended as a stunt only. Equipping an electric supercar with 600 liters of compressed air, 10 directional cold gas thruster nozzles and a 2G suction fan system directly inspired by SpaceX is undeniable. Seeing it launch from 0 to 60 mph in less than a second breaks the absolute outer limits of physics—even if it does result in detached retinas.

However, calling this a "discovery car" or even viewing the Flying Roadster as an actual product, in the sense that it can be purchased by an unrelated third party for private ownership, stretches the definition beyond recognition. Tesla says the Roadster's "rocket" configuration, the one we've seen doing cool things, will be "invitation-only." But even this strains credulity. That version of the Roadster ditches the passenger seat to make room for ultra-high-pressure gas tanks, trading off-road practicality for short bouts of powered float. But where you can take your flying Tesla remains a mystery, as the company admits it's not approved for "public road use."

Even for wealthy supercar buyers, the event offered almost nothing special. Tesla declined to provide initial business details such as pricing or battery range specifications. The Roadster's range estimate was reduced from 600 miles to 300 miles. And Musk accidentally pushed the production window to 2028 — more than a decade after early adopters handed over $50,000 deposits.

Musk himself has admitted that the Roadster is a "small potatoes" project that doesn't perform financially compared to mass-market models like the Model Y. He also called it "the ultimate driver's car," hinting at his belief that self-driving cars define Tesla's future.

Some analysts have already theorized that the relaunch of the Roadster is an attempt to lay the groundwork for the rumored merger between Tesla and SpaceX. Musk's fans at X are practically begging for it — even though it's likely to send their stock down. But this is only a table stake in Musk's efforts to consolidate control of his companies.

Somehow, the car had to fly to feel its worth decades before the missed deadlines. Tesla has been in the electric hypercar market several times before. Even some of the roadster's most impressive tricks have already been done. There are cars that can drive upside down, cars that can jump in the air, and cars that can accelerate really, really fast.

BYD's Yangwang U9 Extreme uses four electric motors (one more than the roadster) to produce an insane 3,000 horsepower for a top speed of 308 mph on test, breaking the Rimac's Nevera record of 268 mph. And the McMurtry Spirling single-seater holds the record for the fastest 0-60 mph time of 1.35 seconds. The Roadster could be the best, but we'll have to wait for independent tests to confirm.

But no one puts on a show quite like Elon Musk, so if the goal is to score a PR win, dominate social media feeds, and cement Tesla's brand as a technology pioneer, I'd say the Roadster demo was a success. Competitors like Rimac, Porsche and BYD will continue to ship true, track-ready hypercars while Tesla spends a few more years refining its rocket prototype.

Completely useless as a viable product. But as a 30-minute flex of engineering muscle, it was truly spectacular.