Review: The Girl in the River – Forensic Psychologist Plays Police Procedural Thriller as Mocking Imitation of Noir

Ralph Macchio and Tiffany Haddish star in a taut, relentless thriller in which police search for the missing twin of a murdered teenager. The expert decided to leave his victim, the 14-year-old daughter of a local political bigwig, in a part of the Mississippi River where she is likely to resurface, and from a highly visible bridge. When veteran detective Allen Kramer (D

His small-town police thriller interestingly shows its stall with a murder that seems to be actively begging to be solved. The expert decided to release his victim—the 14-year-old daughter of a local political magnate—into a section of the Mississippi River that would likely resurface and over a highly visible bridge. When veteran detective Alan Kramer (Devon Sawa) and rookie forensic psychologist Amelia Pembroke (Maggie Grace) arrive to investigate, they are immediately alerted to a gun in the bushes just meters away. As one colleague says, "It's not a purge, it's a message."

But Brando Benton's first film unfortunately failed to capitalize on the misdirection in this aimless crime scene. Instead of using it to uncover the secrets of society, he gives us a tight-rope, implausible man chase. As Kramer and Pembroke race to find the girl's twin, who may still be in the killer's clutches, they overlook local butcher Boris (Daron Dunbar). He has a sex-pest rap sheet and lives with his mother - which apparently ticks all the boxes for a profile genius like Pembroke. Kramer kills him for not bothering with the lack of real prosecutable evidence. But carping is the seasoned criminologist's only investigative contribution here (and what does a criminologist—a criminal sociologist—do, anyway?).

If the killer passes the crime-scene parody, Girl on the River presents its noir parody, albeit in a much less clichéd, clichéd fashion. We've got an obsessive desk rider, a creepy, traumatized mid-retirement vet, Tiffany Haddish's angry black captain (as satirized in the Jump Street series) and the kind city coroner (Ralph Macchio of The Karate Kid). Whenever the detectives stumble, the over-the-top screenplay is always there to bring them back on track. The local media seem strangely willing to share their voluminous stash of damning evidence. An apparent riot among the townspeople sets Kramer and Pembroke on fire just when they have no clue.

Grace, with her shrill defensiveness, and a confused Sava manage to pull off the dubious heist halfway through, and Benton keeps the film moving fast enough so that many of the inefficiencies don't register horribly. But without the time to gather any proper gravity, Kramer's lecture on global corruption is, like the victim, dead in the water.