"My father is Mahdi", the narrative of a veteran who found his novel

The author of the novel "Blood of the Sea" did not think that one day Mehdi would find his story in the real world; Until at the book fair, a girl took her veteran father's hand, stood in front of him and cried, "My father is Mahdi."

Zainab Azad, Ambassador of Arjan Group of Culture and Literature: For some people, war is a memory that still weighs heavily on their minds and souls as years go by, and for others, it is a truth that must be discovered through the narratives, documents and memory of the survivors. But how can one write about a night that the author has never lived and say about human suffering that his experiences are beyond his knowledge and imagination? For the author of this work, the novel "Blood of the Sea" is an attempt to approach this distance; The distance between today's generation and the days of war, between lived experience and literary imagination, and between what was narrated from Karbala 4 operation and what is still not included in the language. In this interview, Leila Mahdavi talks about the difficulty of writing about the male world of the front, facing the tragedy of Karbala 4, the role of the novel in connecting generations and the necessity of seeing people beyond religious boundaries; From the image that formed the title "Blood of the Sea" and the shocking meeting that changed the meaning of writing for him after the book was published.

In the first part of the conversation with Mahdavi, the war starts from the point where the narrative of the heroes ends, we talked about the form and content of "Blood of the Sea". The second part, however, is set with a different mood, which you will see below.

* As a female writer, writing the parts about Sarah is probably more familiar to you because you are closer to the experience and mental world of women; But on the other hand, Mahdi's narrative, his mental states, the scenes of operations and male experiences that we see in the story, required a different distance and recognition. How difficult was it for you to write these parts and what research or study did you do to make Mahdi's character and his experiences believable?

It was very difficult. Of my personal experiences of the war, I have very limited memories. One of my clearest memories is when my father wanted to go to the front. Before that he was usually absent, but on the railway we could see him, say goodbye to him and wait for him to come back next time. These memories, although very limited and small, are only a part of my lived experience of the war.

But one incident in the 12-day war was a turning point for me. One day, I was changing TV channels when I saw the host of the program, Mr. Azadi, lift a small coffin. I basically didn't watch that show, and I didn't usually watch TV at that hour. Inside the coffin was the body of Rayan Ghasemian, a 20-day-old or two-month-old baby. When the conductor lifted the casket, I felt as if his back had broken. At that moment, I felt that the whole meaning of war for me was summed up at that point.

After that incident, I looked at my past. Before "Sea Blood", I had written many short war stories and had experiences about the 12-day war. We were in Hamadan at that time. We felt the attack on the Noje airbase and the events related to Subashi more closely, and the news was very shocking. Then we went south and were exposed to danger. However, what we experienced in the 12-day war could not be compared to the moment when I saw Rayan Ghasemian's coffin.

I felt that all my previous writings were more of an accumulation of what I heard, saw, and indirect experiences. But when I saw that small coffin, I felt the weight of that coffin on my hands. This made everything real for me. After that, my writing suddenly became fluent. The narratives of the war, which at that point reached the Ramadan war, were no longer just a subject for me to write about; Every day I had a few real stories that I had to write.

In my opinion, to write about war, we have to be able to feel that we are inside that situation to some extent. Of course, I can never claim that I put myself in Mahdi's place. I did a lot of research on Arvand to write the parts about him. I saw and touched Arvand and it became dear to me. I read about water drops, tents, fish lake and Umm al-Rasas, and I had the map of Arvand almost in my head, but none of this was my lived experience. It was all an accumulation of things I had read and movies I had seen.

When Operation Karbala 4 happened, I was about two years old and naturally I have no experience with it. So it was very difficult for me to write about Mahdi. At some point, I dropped my pen and could not continue.

In the case of Karbala 4, this feeling for me was similar to facing Ashura. In order to write some scenes, I used to visit the sacred area and then I would go back to writing. I did not write many things on purpose. I feel speechless about Karbala 4. In the story, Karbala 5 covers about a month of narrative, but Karbala 4 is only one night; However, I feel that one night is as heavy as Ashura.

Among what I have written about Karbala 4, I myself like some parts; Because when I read them again, that feeling comes alive for me. However, I still feel like I haven't been able to convey what was in Karbala 4 the way I should; For me, Karbala 4 was an Ashura.

* From your words, it can be understood that lived experience, even if it is limited, has a great impact in conveying the atmosphere of war to the audience. You had this experience in the narrative of the 12-day war and the Ramadan war, but you relied more on research and conversations with the fighters about Karbala 4. Do you think this difference has caused the war narrative in "Bhoon Darya" to be weaker in some parts? Can research and imagination replace lived experience?

I still haven't made it through Karbala 4 and I feel like I'm still talking about it. For a long time, I have been involved in the night of Karbala 4; The night that begins at sunset and continues until the morning call to prayer, but for me it is not over yet. Even after "Blood of the Sea" I have written about Karbala 4; I wrote about it in "Kalme" magazine and in another book I wrote the story of one of the fighters, Mr. Bagheri, from Karbala 4.

However, I still feel like I didn't feel the way I should have that night. Every time I talk to Mr. Motahari, whom I met through my father-in-law, I hear new stories. When they talk and I record and play them back, it's still new to me and I feel like it's far from what I imagined.

On the other hand, in the recent war, I had an experience that was very tangible for me. Those days, I was far from my parents, I didn't know about Tehran and my friends, and they even threatened the radio station. We also had a difficult situation due to the threat to ports and port facilities. One night, when the children were asleep, I was sitting on the porch of the house and I was very upset. It was raining and the weather was good. Suddenly, from behind the mountain, I saw something like a red fire pass, and then several others moved behind it. For me, that scene was like a fire that was lit in my heart; Because I knew that there were portable launchers behind those mountains, and even before that, I had seen trucks carrying launchers.

I had a strange feeling at that moment; I felt like I was standing in the place where our missiles were fired from, and on the other hand, I saw enemy fighters entering from the southern corridor of the Persian Gulf and going to different parts of the country. These ups and downs were quite tangible for me. When it was reported that Isfahan, Yazd or Shiraz had been attacked, I had seen a part of it with my own eyes. Therefore, writing about that war was different for me from Karbala 4.

But I'm still trying to understand and approach Karbala 4. I think this is exactly one of the functions of the novel. From the point of view of art, the novel has a place that can fill the gap created between generations. In the field of sustainability literature, this function is still very weak and oppressed.

I am a critical person; Provided that the criticism is criticism of the form, theme or truth of the book. But sometimes I have heard criticism from some famous professors and people who said that when there are so many truths about the war, why did you write a story that is not true and did not go to the same facts? I have explained many times and I will never get tired of explaining that today's society needs novels and stories to communicate with yesterday's society. Oral history is very necessary, and if there is no oral history, basically a novel will not be formed; But the novel can fill the gap between generations from an artistic point of view. Art can answer the mental questions of the new generation and bring them closer to the truth of the past.

Oral history can be visual, auditory or written and in any form it is important for literature. But when these raw materials enter the novel, they can become a bridge between different generations through art.

* One of the remarkable points in "Blood of the Sea" is the mother's encounter with people; It doesn't matter to him whether the opposite person is Shia or Sunni, friend or enemy; He first sees his humanity and his need for help. From a psychological point of view, how much can "being next to another person" in a crisis situation help him endure suffering and overcome the crisis? Can it be said that sometimes the presence of a human being next to the injured person is as important as treatment and care?

This part of the story for me is rooted in lived experience. In the south of the country, in the region where we are present, a large part of the people are Sunnis. I have also participated in their Muharram ceremony; You have probably seen the "Dashti Khani" ceremony on the seventh night of Muharram on my page. They are Sunnis, but they have no enmity with us, and I have experienced this closely.

For example, when the news of Sardar Tangsiri's martyrdom came, we were at the house of one of the Sunni sheikhs. The news hadn't been officially confirmed yet, but the man had tears streaming down his face. The image of that day is still very heavy for me. Even the weather conditions that day were strange; The thunder continued for hours without interruption and at the same time the news of the martyrdom of Sardar Tangsiri reached us.

Or when the body of Haj Qassem Soleimani was transferred to Ahvaz for burial, many of the same people who were closer to Ahvaz attended the ceremony. They have a kind of patriotism where religious boundaries are not bold. Of course, my experience is clearly about Ahl al-Sunna Shafi'i, and I have not had much interaction experience about other groups.

In my opinion, in a war situation, the thing that shows itself more than anything else is the concept of "man". We have had various examples of Armenian martyrs that show the same issue. I myself am now thinking of joining the Red Crescent and if I find myself in such a situation, it doesn't matter to me whether the person who needs help is Shia or Sunni; He is human and needs help.

In the end we come back to the same human basis. Anna was also a teacher and taught in a school where both Sunni and Christian students attended. If a person cannot control himself in such a situation and set boundaries between people, I think he has fundamentally distanced himself from what we learn from the school of Ali ibn Abi Talib (a). For me, the starting point of all this is humanity again.

* Anyone who is familiar with the operations of Karbala 4 and especially Karbala 5, knows that "Insane Island" has a heavy meaning and emotional burden for him. At the end of "Blood of the Sea" this image is boldly presented to the audience. Choosing the title "Blood of the Sea" was very suitable for the book. Was this name chosen from the beginning?

The name of the book was originally something else. During the conversation I had with one of the fighters, Mr. Mahmoud Bagheri, he told me a story that was very influential for me. They said that one night during the operation, they only saw the blackness of the water, but the blood was rising thickly on the water. I also wrote the same picture in the book; That "the blood was running low and coming up".

When I wrote this picture, I felt like I could smell blood; I see hands left on the water and pieces of bodies left in the water. For me, this image was strongly associated with Karbala 4 and later with Karbala 5. For this reason, I believe that these two operations, at least for me, were a kind of small Ashura.

Our life is full of Ashura days and God gives us opportunities to elevate ourselves in these situations. I have this feeling about these two operations and of course about many other days of the war; But in particular, Karbala 4 was a small Ashura for me. That night, people were chosen and went there and a great tragedy occurred; People who were martyred with closed hands, but with strong hearts and hearts that did not stop beating.

Writing about the great event of martyrdom itself is not a difficult task; Because if we just say that someone was martyred, it can quickly become a clichéd narrative. The more important issue is to understand how that person reached the point where he said "O Fatimah" when they tied his hands and wanted to throw him into the water. For me, this part is much more important. How can we reach such a point and how a person who was similar to all of us in the beginning reaches that position.

They were no different from us from the beginning. God has not built a wall between his servants. So it was important to me to know how they got there. This issue has made writing about Karbala 4 very heavy and difficult for me.

For this reason, the name "Khon Darya" was formed from this image. Of course, the name of the book was something else in the beginning; "He pulls the hook" was the previous name of the book. I called Mr. Akbarkhani once and said "Blood of the sea". Usually, they did not ask many questions about the title of the book, but this time they asked why. In fact, during the work on this book, we had almost no challenges and knots with each other, except for one thing about bullet caliber, of course, he is a master in this field.

I told them that the reason for choosing this name is the same blood that in the narration of Mr. Bagheri "was throbbing and rising". However, many people later told me why I had changed the previous name and believed that "She Pulls the Hook" would have been a better title. But for myself, "Blood of the Sea" was closer to the image that was the core of the book's formation.

Something happened to me after the publication of "Blood of the Sea" that made me feel that choosing this name and basically writing this book had a different meaning for me. The year the book was unveiled at the 1403 Book Fair, I usually didn't stay long at the booth; Because the book fair is an opportunity for me to be with my friends and get away from the serious atmosphere of work. But once I happened to be in the booth when my attention was drawn to a lady wearing a normal hijab who was holding the hand of an old man.

That old man was very handsome and well-dressed; He had a French hat and suspenders and attracted my attention from afar. They were coming down the stairs and I kept my eyes on them. Of course, I'm not used to staring at people, but the two of them approached the booth and found me on the side of the counter, where the juvenile books were.

When I turned and looked, I saw that girl came forward and was accompanying her father. His father walked slowly and had difficulty maintaining balance. When they reached me, the girl suddenly started crying and said: "Where did you write the blood of the sea? My dad is a neurosurgeon. My father is Mehdi."

My whole body started shaking. I am a very emotional and sensitive person and I had a strong grudge. I wanted to talk to my father, but I couldn't. I wanted to bend down and kiss their hand and I didn't even know how to react. They also took pictures of us, but unfortunately, the pictures were later deleted from the library's camera and we couldn't find them.

At that moment, I felt that I had found Mahdi. Of course, the real Mehdi that I saw had some differences with the Mehdi of "Sea Blood". I asked the girl in which operation their father was present. He said that he was not in Karbala 4, but he was present in Wal-Fajr 8 and was a diver. However, what happened to him, and especially the form of his nerve and mental injury, was very similar to Mehdi in the story.

He was also under severe pressure and shock during an accident and explosion; A mortar hit near him and the person next to him was injured. The same shock and stress had left him severely physically disabled.

Father wanted to talk to me, but he said the words one by one and very quietly. That moment was very moving for me. Right there, I felt that God accepted this book from me.